


The Birds and the Bees

by eric_idle_rules



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Crack, M/M, Magic, Minor Beastiality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 17:41:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16979022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eric_idle_rules/pseuds/eric_idle_rules
Summary: This was written for a kink thread on LJ that we started eons ago for the following prompt:Princess & The Frog adaptionCody was a majorly conceited dickhead who only cared about staring into the mirror and admiring himself. Until he's turned into a parakeet for the rest of his life ... with the only hope of the spell being broken if someone tries to facefuck him.Ted wanders into the pet shop one day and is drawn to a pale blue bird sitting lonely in its corner cage





	The Birds and the Bees

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm aware that this is complete and utter crack!fic. I'm not sorry.

A usual day in the life of Cody Runnels consisted of, quite literally, _hours_ spent before the mirror, primping and prepping himself, making sure that he looked his absolute best. He couldn’t have a single hair out of place, not on the top of his head, and _certainly_ not on his brows. His skin was moisturized daily with the help of a cucumber melon lotion, his teeth brushed and flossed at least twice a day…

He needed to look his best when going out to the bar, after all. 

His jeans were tight, hugging his ass in all the right places. His white shirt was unbuttoned three down from the top. 

He looked amazing. 

But that was nothing new. 

As he headed to his car, he wondered just how many notches he could add to his bedpost that night. Once he was in his usual bar, he let his eyes scan over the crowd. He could work with this. His first score of the night came when a handsome man with light brown hair and green eyes offered to buy him a drink at the bar. Of course Cody accepted, and Cody sipped his drink while the man introduced himself. 

It took all of ten minutes after meeting at the bar and finishing up their drinks before he had the man in a bathroom stall, coming on his face after what had to have easily been the best blowjob in that guy’s life. 

Cody washed up, straightened up his hair and clothes and was back out onto the dance floor. The next guy was a bit older than him, but he had aged like a fine wine, that was for sure. He had the older man in tow on his second trip to the bathroom, and this time, behind the closed stall door, he not only got to show of his own mouth’s talents, he got something in return as the man fucked Cody’s ever willing ass, Cody bent over the toilet seat. 

When the guy came, he pulled out and slipped off the used condom, tossing it into the toilet before offering to help Cody along. However, Cody insisted that he’d be fine… and that he’d get someone else who could actually take care of him. One man approached him once he left the bathroom, he was short with mousy looking blonde hair, his face covered in zits and splotches, and he wore a loose fitting shirt, which Cody could only assume meant he had something to hide underneath there. Passing that guy right by, Cody found a far better looking man to take home with him to fuck through his mattress. 

When Cody awoke, the first measure of business was to kick the guy from the bar out of his bed and out of his apartment. Usually he didn’t even spend the night with his conquests, but he had to give it to this one, he really knew what he was doing.

His day was otherwise run of the mill, running to the grocery store (along with what seemed like everyone and their grandmothers, was there a senior discount that day, or something?) to restock his pretty bare fridge, then he made a quick stop at Barnes and Noble to see if they had a new book in that he wanted to read. Once he got back home, he brought his groceries and new book upstairs, setting the book down before he started putting the food away. 

Once everything was away, he headed down to the gym located within the apartment complex. He put on a good sweat, working out his cardio and his abs that day. 

Then, as soon as his workout was over, he was back in his room and in the shower, cleaning himself up for another night out. He made sure to shave _everywhere_ , as well; as far as he was concerned there was nothing worse than getting someone else’s body hair in his mouth.

As part of his usual routine, he spent a great deal of time looking at himself in the mirror, moisturizing, styling his hair, plucking and combing his brows, applying gloss and a touch of clear mascara to help elongate his lashes. 

He dressed in another pair of tight jeans, and this time he picked out a black button down shirt. As usual, he left the top three buttons undone. Giving himself a once over in the mirror, he smiled and said, “I’d fuck me,” and was out the door.

Once more he was at his the usual place. As soon as he walked through the doors, he was already on the lookout for his next conquest. 

It was while he was walking to the bar that he saw him. He was tall, with piercing blue eyes and his shirt was completely unbuttoned down the front, revealing beautifully cut abs. This guy was _just_ what he was looking for. 

He decided to give it a little bit of time, let the guy spot him, too. He got to the bar, ordered himself a fruity drink and sat, sipping on his drink with his eyes out on the dance floor. While he did let his eyes roam, he always kept tabs on that tall guy he wanted in his bed that night. 

Once his drink was done, he set his glass down and asked for his bill. Normally he kept a tab open for a little while, anyway, but tonight he had other plans. He just _knew_ that that guy would be amazing in bed, and judging by the number of guys that were dancing right up against him, they were assuming the exact same thing. He handed over a few bills to the bartender, telling him to keep the change. 

And then he was on the move. He wasn’t going to let any of those other guys get the one he had in his sights since the second he walked through those doors. He made his way through the crowd and saw that the tall guy with the six, no, _eight pack_ was actually headed towards him. Perfect. 

Their actual meeting was nothing more than some eye contact, a little jerk of the head and a nod. Before they knew it, they were outside around the side of the building, Cody on his knees, hands on the hips of this tall man and his mouth around a sizeable cock. 

He was sucking in his cheeks as he bobbed his head up and down, knowing this guy was getting the blowjob of his life. But then he looked up, wanting to give him his trademark smirk around the dick in his mouth and he actually nearly choked on it when he saw that he was _not_ looking up at the same man he had gone down on. He was looking up at the guy from yesterday, the one with all the blemishes over his face. Getting off the man’s dick and onto his feet as fast as possible, he asked, “What the _fuck_?!”

“You… are one of the most self-centered, egotistical, shallow, unappreciative, ungrateful men I have ever seen,” the man told him. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” 

“It means exactly what I said. You’re an ungrateful, shallow prick.”

“Why, because I wouldn’t blow you yesterday?” he asked. He then added, “And what the fuck sort of voodoo green screen bullshit are you pulling here? What happened to the guy that I was with?”

“You’re missing the point here. You need to learn a little lesson in humility,” the man then said to him. 

Cody was about to open his mouth to reply, when suddenly he found that he _couldn’t_ talk. Well, he _could_ … technically. He managed to squawk out the word, “What?” Everything around him looked so much bigger now and… and he was actually in the man’s hand. The man reached into his pocket, pulling out a little compact mirror. “Since I know you like spending hours primping yourself, how about you take a little look at yourself now?” he asked, opening the mirror so that Cody could see what he looked like.

He was a baby blue parakeet. His feathers were the same color his eyes had been. _Feathers_. He tried to wiggle out of the man’s grip, but it was no use. 

“You will stay this way until a man gets you to perform oral sex on him,” the man, now looking once more like the tall, gorgeous one he’d seen upon entering the bar, told him, with what could only be described as a vindictive smirk on his face.

Cody tried to say, ‘That doesn’t even make sense!’ He thought it, he could still think as though he was a human, but he couldn’t verbalize it. 

The next thing he knew, he was waking up in a cage in a pet shop. His head turned every which way, up and down and all around. With some hesitance, he fluttered his wings experimentally. When he found that he got a little lift, he flapped his wings more, thinking that maybe he could get up to the bars and wiggle his way out. 

That didn’t work out too well. He didn’t make it all the way to the bars and ended up landing on the base of the cage. When he looked down, he could read the date on yesterday’s newspaper and found himself wondering if there’ll be any mention of a missing young, attractive twenty-something in the upcoming papers. But then he thought that what with this voodoo magic that was put on him, maybe everyone would forget he ever existed. Maybe no one would remember Cody Runnels. Because Cody Runnels, the person, no longer existed, as he was now a bird up for sale in a pet shop. 

He tried flying back up onto his perch and found that he wasn’t having much luck with it. Sighing (and realizing he let out a little chirp as he sighed), he made his way to the ladder and attempted to climb it… but soon found out he couldn’t use his hands… because he didn’t have hands… he ended up having to use his _beak_ to pull himself up. 

He’d never wanted mouthwash so badly in his life. 

His first day there was rather uneventful. He chirped, experimented with what words he could say (which wasn’t really much, but he was determined to work on that), picked at the food he was given, tried to fly and shit on newspaper on several occasions. Was that really all there was to life as a pet bird? Eat, flap wings, shit, sleep? If so, he was going to have a long, dull life for as long as he lived as a bird.

It was two days later when Cody saw the door to the pet shop open, a little girl’s eyes settling on him right away as she let out a little squeal of joy, he had a sinking feeling in his gut that he’d be stuck as a goddamn bird for the rest of his days.

“Daddy, I want _that one_!” she said, pointing to Cody.

“You haven’t even looked at the rest of the birds,” he told her, though he was happy she did pick out a bird and not a snake as he was worried she’d do. Her mother would throw a fit if they came home with a snake and some live mice with which to feed it.

“I don’t want to look at any other birds! I want that one!” she said again. 

Cody turned on his porch and once more tried to fly to the other side of the cage. He ended up flopping around some, but he just wanted to get a little bit further away from her high pitched, screeching voice. It wasn’t any use, though. Especially not as she and her father walked closer. The closer they got, the more excited she sounded.

“This one here looks nice,” the dad said, pointing to the cage next to Cody’s, which housed a white and pink cockatiel. Cody prayed that she would change her mind.

The prayers didn’t work. 

“No, this one!”

“Are you sure you want this one? There are a lot—”

“Daddy, I don’t want any other bird. I want this one; he’s so pretty! And I already named him!”

Cody was somewhat thankful that she was at least going to give him a male’s name. 

“Birdy,” she said.

“Birdy?”

 _Birdy_ , Cody thought to himself. This was what his life had come down to. He had been so handsome, the object of many men’s desires, and now he was a goddamn pet bird. Named Birdy. 

The girl nodded her head enthusiastically. The pet shop employee was summoned over and he explained to her and her father how to take care of him, what to feed him, how often he needed to be let out to fly around a little, all the basics were covered. Cody was bought, food was bought, and then he was brought to his new home. 

And it was there that Cody was determined to make this little girl’s life a living hell. From the moment they stepped in through the front door, he chirped up a storm. And he didn’t let up. She was trying to calm him down, telling him that it was ok; even the father was trying to explain to a _bird_ that, though it might take some getting used to, this was going to be his home now. 

That was when Cody discovered some new words he could say. “Fuck my life.”

He actually saw the father blanch a little bit when he heard the cuss words.

She didn’t seem to hear exactly what he said, though, but she did look over to her father and ask excitedly, “Daddy, did he just talk?!”

However, he shook his head no. “I don’t think so, sweetie, I think he just needs to calm down a little.” So, he put the cage down and covered it with a sheet, sending Cody’s world into complete darkness. 

That managed to shut him up. For a little while, anyway. He was so hungry, but he really didn’t want to eat the shitty food that they’d given him… and it wasn’t as though he could actually find it, even if he did want it. All the chirping had dried out his throat, though, so he did try and feel around to find his water bottle. After a little while, he did manage to find it and hesitantly pecked at it until the water came out. He felt so uncivilized drinking like this. He was sure that even cave men had some form of cup… even if it was just their hands. 

That caused him to cuss once again. “Fuck my life,” he said, and this time he heard an older woman’s voice. That must be the mother. 

“Did the bird just say something?” she asked.

“Maybe,” the father said.

“Something that sounded a whole lot like…”

If Cody were still human, he was sure that a smirk would be on his face as he, once again, said, “Fuck my life.”

“Like that,” she said, looking confusedly at her husband. “Did he really just say that? Where would he even have learned something like that?” she asked. 

“I don’t know.”

“We can’t have him saying things like that in front of Amelia.”

Ah, Amelia must be the name of his new torturer, Cody thought to himself. He never much cared for kids as a human. As a bird, he suddenly found he liked them even less. Her parents already seemed to quite dislike him, which was a good sign. The more they disliked him, the more likely it was they’d get rid of him. There were loads of other blue birds out there that looked just like him; he was easily replaced.

“We’re probably just hearing things,” he tried to assure her. Cody shut his eyelids as, suddenly, a wave of light hit him. The curtain was being lifted, it seemed. When he opened his eyes, he looked straight back at the man looking at him. “You’ll be good for Amelia, won’t you?” he asked uncertainly.

Cody cocked his head, almost wanting to tell him to go fuck himself, but he didn’t know how that would come out (that was something he’d need to practice once everyone was sleeping), so he turned himself around on his perch, turning his back on the man that purchased him. But, he was supposed to be a normal bird, so it wasn’t as though a bird was actually going to understand what was being said to him. 

“Maybe a snake would have been a better idea,” he mumbled, putting the sheet back over Cody’s cage. 

It was about a week later when the mother, whose name Cody leaned to be was Meredith, said to her husband, Frank, “Is it just me, or does Birdy look like he’s gotten thinner?”

“You’re right, he does,” he agreed. 

Even Cody knew that he must have been getting thinner. He wasn’t eating much at all. His tastes hadn’t really changed from being human to being a bird. So while eating bird food didn’t make him sick, it was really gross. He spent most of his time at the food dish picking at the sunflower and poppy seeds. At least seeds were edible as a human.

“Do you think we should take him to the vet?” she asked.

“Nah. He’s probably just taking a little time to get used to the new place.”

She bent down and looked right into Cody’s eyes. “He doesn’t look well.”

Cody looked right back at her and very clearly said, “Fuck my life.”

Just then, Amelia came into the room. “Can we take Birdy out of his cage? I wanna hold him!”

Her parents looked at one another warily. They told her that soon they should be able to take Birdy out, but it wasn’t that they didn’t trust her with him, they didn’t trust the bird with her. 

“I don’t know if now’s a good time to do that,” Frank said.

“But, Daddy, you _promised_! I haven’t been able to hold him yet! Please, Daddy?” she asked, turning her best puppy dog expression on both her parents.

They looked at each other again. Meredith held up her hands, saying, “It’s up to you.”

“Ok,” he said, trying not to sound too nervous about what could possibly happen. He unlocked the cage and reached in. Cody could only get so far before he couldn’t get away anymore. There was something oddly terrifying about having a fully grown man’s hand wrapped completely around his body, and it took him back to the night he was turned into a bird, how that man had held him there, made him feel so helpless. 

Emilia held out her arm, waiting for her father to place Birdy down. When he finally did, her face lit up. She could finally touch and pet Birdy like she wanted to when she first got him. He wasn’t causing much of a fuss, either.

Cody wasn’t _hating_ the experience, he had to admit. She pet a little hard, but otherwise, it did feel nice to just be petted. At least until she moved her hand upwards instead of down, going against the grain of his feathers. That wasn’t the best feeling, and he tried ruffling his feathers out to try and correct them. Her dad told her to only pet downwards, though, because would she like it if he went to pat her on the end only to end up flipping all her hair forward?

They didn’t keep him out too long, not wanting him to get any ideas about getting away, and for some reason, they wouldn’t put it past Birdy to attempt an escape.

When Cody was put back into his cage, he tried to figure out a way to get back out of it. Of course he’d tried before, but he’d been unsuccessful, as he was again this time. Wings were not as useful as thumbs and fingers. He’d have to figure out some other sort of escape plan. Lull them into a false sense of security, thinking that they’d be ok taking him out of the cage, only to one day take off and never return.

It was about a month after that that he came up with a better idea. They still didn’t let him out of the cage much, but after some observation, he saw how much Amelia would cringe each time her parents suggested she remove his newspaper and clean the cage. She’d say, ‘Eww, that’s gross!’ and other things of that nature, showing her true displeasure at the mere thought.

So the next time they let Amelia hold him, he moved up her arm. She was giggling the whole time. When he moved up to her shoulder, she kept giggling. Birdy had never been this friendly before. And then he flapped his wings and landed in her hair. This time she was full out laughing. 

Until he shit in her hair.

That’s when she starting bawling her eyes out, swatting at Birdy, screaming that she wanted to get rid of him.

And then Cody let out a very loud and unmistakable, “Fuck my life.”

Her parents were very quick to concur with getting rid of the bird and finding her a more agreeable pet. 

At first, Cody was quite pleased with himself. They packed up his things and took him right back to the shop where they bought him. To his shock and horror, though, the man working at the register was none other than that mousy haired freak from the bar who turned him into a bird in the first place.

When the family left (after telling the guy at the register they were going to the local animal shelter to look for a pet there), he smirked down at Cody. “I see that didn’t work out so well for you, did it? What? Were you not quite the charmer you thought you were?”

“Fuck you,” Cody replied in his high pitched bird voice.

The guy just kept smirking. “Better luck next time.”

Cody noticed that he wasn’t there ever again. He had no idea what the fuck was going on; he was still confused and angry over the whole thing, even more so since seeing that guy again.

People came in and out of the pet shop, leaving with their newly purchased fish or snake or bird… none of those birds being Cody.

He lost track of the amount of time he was in that shop, one day just blending right in with the next. All he wanted was to be human again. Hadn’t he learned whatever lesson he was supposed to learn? Hadn’t he been tortured enough?

Finally, though, in the blink of an eye, his luck changed. It was in the early evening when he walked in. He was wearing a nice, tailored suit, which, even as a bird, Cody could greatly appreciate. This man obviously cared about his appearance, probably had a good deal of money in the bank, too. There was something a bit worn down looking about him, though, and lonely. Cody watched him as he looked through the cages, praying that this man would be the one to take him home. 

He stopped when he reached Cody’s cage. A little hint of a smile even reached the corner of his mouth. “You’re a pretty bird, aren’t you?” Cody nodded his head, which caused him to chuckle. “Smart, too. You wanna come home with me?”

Once more, Cody nodded, his whole body bobbing up and down.

And that was that. Soon, Cody was in the front seat of the man’s car (a brand new Mercedes with black leather interior which Cody would have loved to have fucked this guy on) on the way to his newest home.

Now, he expected this guy to have some money, but when they got to his house, Cody’s heart nearly stopped beating. The place was _huge_. That made Cody assume that this guy must have a wife and at least three kids running around there. What one person needed a house that large? When he was being lifted out of the car, he didn’t see a ring, but that didn’t mean much. Plenty of people took off their rings for work.

After heading through the front door, Cody noticed how silent the house was. Silent and _spotless_. It didn’t look like the kind of place any kid would want to live, and it didn’t look like a place that welcomed kids, either.

Cody was brought into a large living room, television room, den sort of space, a massive flat screen on the wall in front of him. The only thing in the room that didn’t look brand new was the green couch he was set up next to. His cage was now on a little side table right next to the spot where the guy seemed to like sitting the most.

“I guess you need a name, don’t you?” He looked around the room, eyes falling on the stereo system. He saw row after row of CDs and beneath that, his vinyl collection. One of his most well loved records was one of Old Blue Eyes himself. “Sinatra,” he said as he turned back to his new pet. Those feathers were the most beautiful shade of blue.

At least it was better than Birdy. Still, Cody was dying to know the name of his new owner. He got his wish when said new owner began talking to him in a rather conversational manner. “Well… I guess I should maybe introduce myself. I’m Ted. Well, Theodore is my full name, but I go by Ted. This… is my place.”

“Ted,” Cody repeated. He didn’t know if he’d be able to say it, or not, since not all the things he tried to say actually came out, like when he tried to say that his name was Cody and that the name Sinatra didn’t suit him at all. However, this did.

“Yeah,” Ted said with that same little smile tugging at his lips. 

So, now he was with Ted. But he still didn’t know how he was ever going to be turned back into a person. What was he supposed to do? Use his birdly charms to seduce this obviously well off man into letting him suck his dick? He sighed, the noise coming out as a little chirp, thinking that this probably wouldn’t be the last house he’d be living in. For all he knew, he’d end up sucking the dick of some teenager after one of his dumbass friends dared him to do it.

Ted settled back and turned the TV on, not talking to his bird for the rest of the evening until just before he headed to bed, when he wished Sinatra a good night. And Cody actually replied with a “Good night” of his own.

The next morning, Cody woke up to a full food bowl and his water was topped off. Had he slept through Ted leaving? After picking around at his food for a bit, knowing that a fair amount of time had passed, he figured that he had, indeed, slept right through Ted getting ready and leaving for the day.

As usual, Cody tried poking around the cage to try and find a way out. Then he hopped around on his perch a little before seeing if the food Ted bought him was any better than what the previous family got. It wasn’t. When he finished nibbling at his food, he tried flying, but the cage really restricted his movements. So he ended up taking a nap.

When he awoke, he didn’t know how long he’d been sleeping, but he knew that he was still alone in the house. And he was bored as all hell. He couldn’t understand how birds could possibly enjoy being kept as pets. They couldn’t do much of anything besides sit in a cage and peck at their food and the metal bars.

He had no idea how much longer it was before Ted returned, but he did eventually. He looked tired, but he was bringing a bag over towards him. “Hey, buddy,” he greeted, opening the cage to take his new pet out. 

Cody walked onto his finger and allowed himself to be brought out of the cage. It felt nice to stretch his wings some. 

“Sorry I was gone so long,” Ted apologized to him. “I had a real busy day at work. That’s nothing new, though. Anyway, I thought that since I was out for so long and probably will be most of the time, I’d get you a new toy to play with.”

That was rather unexpected, but certainly not at all unwelcomed. Something else to occupy even a little bit of his time while cooped up inside that cage was appreciated. And then Ted reached into the bag and pulled out a mirror. “The man at the pet store told me that birds love mirrors. He said it’s like they have a friend when I can’t be around.” He held the mirror up so that Cody could see himself, not knowing that Cody was actively avoiding looking at his reflection. “I wish I could be around more, though,” Ted then told him, which Cody actually found to be oddly sweet. 

But he didn’t care much for the mirror. He would bet his bowl of bird seed that it was the same asshole that turned him into a bird that went and told Ted that birds loved mirrors. 

Ted continued talking, setting Cody down on the couch as he hung up the mirror in the back of the cage. “I know it’s only been a day, but there’s gonna be a lot more days like today. I probably shouldn’t have even bought you since I’m never home, but I guess I just… wanted some company.” He straightened the mirror then turned back around to his new pet. “Obviously I need some company; I’m talking to a damn bird.”

Cody chirped back to him, flapping his wings some and flying around a little bit. But, unlike his last owners, who he wanted to escape from the moment they picked him out at the store, he actually wanted to _stay_ with Ted.

At least with Ted there was some slight chance of him getting turned back to normal… it wasn’t likely, though. But if he was going to be stuck as a bird for the rest of his life, at least with Ted he had some decent company and the guy really seemed to care about him. In fact, he seemed to be Ted’s only friend.

When Ted grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, he didn’t bother to put Cody back in his cage first. So, as they both watched a little TV, Cody took little side steps closer to Ted, eventually settling on the man’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes with Sinatra on his shoulder, Ted reached over, grabbing the bird and moving him onto his lap. With Sinatra now there, he stroked the back of his fingers down the bird’s back.

Cody found himself _really_ enjoying the sensation of being petted by Ted. It was much nicer than the demon child that was his previous owner. He even tried to awkwardly lean back on his short bird legs to try and move into the touch.

He didn’t actually _intend_ to poop on Ted’s leg, though. It just happened, and after realizing what he’d done, Cody blurted out the word, “Sorry,” and hoped that Ted understood.

Looking down, Ted finally realized what happened. Then it clicked that his bird already apologized for crapping on him. “It’s ok, buddy,” Ted assured him, standing up cautiously to go grab something to clean up with so as the bird crap didn’t fall off his pants leaving a mess on the carpet.

In no time at all, the mess was all cleaned. “There, it’s all cleaned up now,” Ted told Cody. “Like it never even happened.”

Cody didn’t know if birds could look embarrassed or ashamed, but at that moment, he was feeling both of those emotions. His head hung down, beak touching the feathers on his chest. Then Ted started petting him again and he felt a little better. He was still mortified that it happened at all, but Ted seemed ok with it, knew it was an accident. “I might as well go change into my PJs since these have to go in the laundry, anyway,” Ted told him, which made him feel embarrassed all over again. He could feel the contemplative stare Ted was giving him, then knew why when he was asked, “Think you can just stay here while I go change?”

Cocking his head to the side, Cody looked up at Ted and stared back.

Then Ted shrugged and muttered, “Guess I’ll just bring you upstairs.” He’d heard stories of birds getting loose and he didn’t want his bird, especially only after just getting him, to escape. So, he stuck out his finger and let Cody onto walk onto it, then brought him upstairs.

When they got to Ted’s room, Cody’s head was turning left, right, up, down and all around. The room was massive with expensive looking hardwood furniture. _This_ was where Ted slept every night? Alone?

He was set down on the end of Ted’s bed just before the man went over to what had to be the biggest closet Cody had ever seen. He even had his pajamas hung up in there. But the thought of closet size went right out of Cody’s head when the man began to undress right in front of him. His body was _flawless_. He could see the back when he looked straight ahead, and if he leaned just so, he could see Ted from the front.

Then, as if God was smiling down on him, Ted not only dropped his pants to the floor, he let his boxers drop, as well. Cody simply stood on the bed, staring between the view of the man’s cock in the mirror and the ass right in front of him. It was all over too soon as Ted stepped into his pajama bottoms and bent down to pick up his dirty clothes before tossing things into his hamper.

Well, that was worth the trip. Even though it was soft, Cody didn’t think he’d ever see another dick in his life. Too bad it wasn’t just _seeing_ a dick that would turn him back into his human form. He actually had to suck one. With a beak. 

Getting picked up again, Cody allowed himself to be carried downstairs and put back into his cage. He was going to go back to flapping around and hopping around the cage, but he noticed that Ted was staring at him.

“Are you hungry? Is there enough food in there?”

He was extremely hungry, since he didn’t really care for the food. At this point, he’d kill for a hamburger. Or, better yet, “Bacon.”

Ted chuckled and a strangely amused look crossed his face. “Did you just say bacon? I don’t think birds can eat bacon.”

He really didn’t know that the word bacon would come out. He honestly never knew what words would come out, even when he tried. Now he wanted to see if he could repeat himself. “Bacon,” he said again.

“I don’t think I even have bacon, but if I did, I still don’t think it’d be a good idea to give it to you. I wouldn’t wanna kill my bird by feeding you bacon.” The food bowl appeared to be fairly full (like Sinatra had hardly even eaten all day), but it looked like a lot of the water was gone. “I guess I’ll get you some more water. And maybe tomorrow I can try and find you some new food.”

Maybe that sentiment would be appealing to an actual bird, but all Cody was craving was some meat. He was tired of sunflower and poppy seeds and whatever other shit they threw into the food mix. It certainly wasn’t anything he wanted, nor was it anything that was particularly filling.

After topping off Cody’s water, Ted set about to making himself some dinner, which was a frozen TV dinner. Once it was out of the microwave, he brought it into his living room, plopped onto the couch and turned on the TV. As he pecked at his seeds, he couldn’t help but wonder just how Ted had such a nice body if all he ate was meals like that one.

With dinner and his show finished, Ted stood up. After getting rid of the trash and putting dishes away, he walked over to Cody. “Well, Sinatra, I should be getting to bed. Got another long day ahead of me tomorrow. You have a good night.”

“Good night,” Cody replied just before the light was switched off.

Upon waking the next morning, Cody once more found his food bowl was full and water replenished. And there was no Ted in sight.

The day seemed to drag on as he waited for Ted’s return. He didn’t know what to make of him at first, but he was really a good guy. With a great body. And a very gentle touch. 

Finally, he heard the door open and close, footsteps approaching him. “Hey, Sinatra. I stopped by the pet shop today after work again. I wanted to look for that new food for you. And I got some other stuff for you while I was there.” He began to pull things out of the little plastic bag, starting with the new brand of food. “I don’t know if you’ll like this any better, but it was the most expensive food they had. It’s supposed to be good for birds.” He set the food down, then moved onto the next item, which was a little rope with a bell on the end. “The guy said that birds like bell noises. So I thought you might like it, too.” Giving the bell a quick little shake, he set that down next to the food and pulled out the third and final item. “And he said that birds like to climb on things, so I got you this ladder. Looks fun, doesn’t it?”

Cody bobbed his body up and down. He didn’t know if _fun_ was the right word, but it would give him at least a little bit more to do.

As it turned out, every day he wound up with something new. There were more ropes and more ladders and planks to walk across. There were hoops and blocks to jump to.

There was really just too much. There was so much stuff jam-packed into one little cage that Cody could hardly stretch his wings anymore. That night, Ted brought home yet _another_ rope for him, this time a red one, because he had every color but. When Ted showed it to him, Cody muttered words that he didn’t know he would actually say out loud. “Suck my balls.”

Ted’s head drew back slightly in surprise as the words registered with him. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing,” Cody replied, not knowing that he could say that either.

“You said something. What was it?”

“Fuck my life.”

This time Ted moved his head down so he was pretty much eye level with Cody. “Did you just say ‘fuck my life’?” he asked, to which the bird shook his head side to side as if to say no. “Where are you learning this? Did you pick it up from the TV?” He was watching HBO last night, so it was possible that his bird had picked up that kind of language from whatever he had on. Unless his previous owners had taught him those words. That seemed most likely.

Cody wanted to stand up and scream at Ted, “I’m a human in a bird’s body! Let me suck your dick and you’ll see!” But he couldn’t. That was too much for his little bird mouth to handle. It came out as a series of chirps, no words at all.

“Hey, calm down, Sinatra,” he said, opening the cage door to take his bird out and add the new things in. The cage was getting a little cramped, he had to admit. Maybe next time he should buy a bigger cage. He gently pet Sinatra, as he did every night, but this time was really to try and calm him down some.

The petting continued the entire time Ted watched TV while eating his dinner. Cody didn’t fuss anymore, he never did while Ted was petting him.

After he was done with the show, he put Cody back so he could go shower and change. He came right back downstairs, though, once he was showered and in his pajamas, and once more took Cody out to pet him while he watched some more TV.

This had become routine for them in their weeks together and it really hit Cody that they did this _every night_. Not one day went by without their nightly TV watching and petting session. Even weekends. “Lonely?” Cody asked. He was thinking that the man must be incredibly lonely. He never went out, never had people over. It was just the two of them.

Ted looked down at him curiously. “Are you asking if I’m lonely?” When Cody’s body bobbed up and down, he said, “You have got one interesting vocabulary… and you seem to understand me really well. I didn’t realize birds were so smart.”

“Lonely?” Cody asked again, wanting an answer.

“It’s not so bad, really,” Ted replied. “I have you now,” he added with a little shrug and small smile.

Tilting his head somewhat, Cody continued to look at Ted. The man must miss having actual humans for company. Sure, he probably saw far too many people he _didn’t_ want to see while he was at work, but didn’t he have any friends? Or family? Or anyone? He remembered when he first saw Ted’s house and how sure he was that the man had a wife and an army of children. Now he knew for a fact that he was here all by himself and he wanted more than ever to be human again so that he could share Ted’s house. He’d really come to like the guy, but he didn’t think he’d ever be anything more than Ted’s faithful pet bird from here on out.

The more time that went on, the more certain Cody was that he was going to be living a very long life as a lonely man’s pet bird. However, that all changed one night.

It started out as any normal Friday night would have. Ted got home from work, showed off the new toy he bought (this time it was a set of wood blocks to climb) and set about getting his dinner ready. He came back, setting his dinner down on the little table next to his couch and opened the cage to take Cody out. Normally, he would fill up the food bowl, but this time he grabbed the bag of food and brought it to the couch with him.

Cody thought that maybe he’d be able to have free range of the bag, which meant there were going to be no sunflower seeds left. 

That wasn’t how it happened, though. Instead, Ted began undoing his pants. If Cody had eyebrows, they’d be well into his hairline at this point. Then Ted reached into his briefs and actually pulled his cock out, stroking it hard. If Cody were still human, he’d have been on his knees already. And _then_ , Ted took some of Cody’s food and sprinkled it across his hard cock.

Cody’s beak was wide open. He didn’t know if he should move or _what_ to do. All he knew was that there was a hard dick right in front of his face and he wanted it in his mouth for more than one reason. As it turned out, he didn’t have to move at all. Ted lifted him up and held him right there. All Cody had to do was lean forward and he plucked a sunflower seed right off Ted’s cock.

That didn’t seem to turn him back, though. So he tried again, this time getting his beak to open as wide as he could possibly get it before leaning down, making sure that his tongue pressed to the skin of Ted’s dick before he took the seed in and swallowed.

After that, he started to feel a little funny. Right in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know if it was because he was getting turned on, or if it was because he was turning back. He prayed he was turning back and wouldn’t just be a horny bird.

“Holy shit!” Ted shouted, scrambling away from the couch as right before his eyes, his beloved Sinatra transformed into a full grown man. A fully grown man who was standing on his living room floor completely naked. 

Cody looked down as he held out his hands, then looked all around the room before finally turning his attention to Ted, who was now standing there frozen in fear with his bird food covered dick still hanging out. “Bird seed on your dick? Really?”

“Who are you?! What the hell is happening? And why are you naked?”

“To be fair, I don’t usually tell guys my name anyway when I’m naked in their house,” Cody replied.

“How’d you get in here?”

Cody raised an eyebrow at him and said, “I was a bird. You bought me at the pet store, brought me to your home and… here I am.”

“That doesn’t make any sense at all.”

“And neither does you trying to feed your bird with your dick, but that didn’t stop you, did it?”

“I was bored… and wanted to see what would happen. No, I shouldn’t even be answering questions until you tell me what the fuck is going on!”

“You wouldn’t believe me,” Cody said.

“You turned into a fucking naked man right in front of me; I think I deserve some answers.”

Sighing, Cody crossed his hands over his chest and decided that he better try and explain himself. “To be honest, I don’t know how it happened either. I was out one night and I guess I brushed this guy off in search of someone hotter. The next night, I went out again and I met this really good looking guy. I started sucking his dick and when I look up, the guy whose dick I’m sucking belongs to the guy from the night before. He basically called me a spoiled prick and used some weird black magic shit to turn me into a bird. I said it was ridiculous,” Cody added once he was done.

“So why are you just turning back now?”

“Oh, right. There was only one condition under which I could turn back. That being that someone tries to fuck my face. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the truth. I’m not here to rob you or anything. I’ve just been… stuck.”

“Stuck here with me, you mean… Look, I believe you. I watched you change… let me just get you some clothes and you can leave. I’ll call you a cab.”

Ted sounded so dejected and completely heartbroken, hell, he already looked it when he realized he didn’t have a pet bird anymore. He began to walk away, head upstairs to grab those clothes, only then noticing that he hadn’t tucked himself back in and had been standing there the whole time with his still semi-hard cock out for all to see. He didn’t get too far, though, because Cody was grabbing his arm and turning him around. “You… you don’t have to go anywhere.”

“What do you mean?”

Cody quirked a rather amused smirk. “You must be either really lonely and forgotten what to do or into some really weird shit to stick some bird seed to your dick and then turn away a naked man who’s willing to pick up right where we left off.”

“You don’t want to go back home?” Ted asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. Sure, he had a _really attractive_ nude man in his house, but he’d just fed the man birdseed off his dick, so he had to think he was a big weirdo. 

“We’ve been spending a whole lot of time together, Teddy, and I’ve really grown to like you.” He let his arms wrap around Ted’s shoulders, foreheads pressing together as he added, “And, for the record, my name’s Cody. Not Sinatra.”

“Cody,” Ted repeated. He liked that name. “Your eyes are the color of his… your… feathers,” Ted whispered, so unused to having another human being in such a state of undress so close to him. “Beautiful.”

After taking a breath at Ted’s words, Cody asked, “So, what do you say? Do we pick off where we left off?” Before there was an answer, he reached down between their bodies and took hold of Ted’s cock, which had since stiffened back to full hardness.

Nodding, Ted muttered, “Yes. We should do that.”

Finally, Cody moved his head and brought their lips together. He hadn’t kissed or touched anyone like this in months and it felt so good to feel this form of contact once again. “In all the time I’ve been here, I’ve only seen you naked once,” Cody told him during a break from their kissing.

“When?” Ted asked. He didn’t think he’d ever walked around naked before.

“You brought me up to your bedroom, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” he said, completely forgetting about that. “Did you… want to go back to my room?”

Cody shook his head side to side. “No. Right here’s fine.” With that, he brought their mouths back together and began to drag Ted back to the couch, trying to undo buttons as they went. Before lying down, Ted aided Cody in the removal of his clothing, leaving them both naked.

Now on his back, Ted over him, Cody wrapped his legs around Ted’s waist, hands clutching at his back. “Christ it’s been a long time,” Cody said as Ted began kissing at his throat.

“I know what that’s like,” Ted mumbled against Cody’s skin. He’d been so busy with work lately that he couldn’t remember the last time he went on a date, much less got any. His hips rocked, cock rutting against Cody’s, eliciting a moan from both of them.

There was a part of Cody that didn’t want to rush this, wanted to suck Ted’s dick properly, but a bigger part of him figured they could do that later because he wanted Ted in him five minutes ago. “Ted, please,” Cody panted, turning his head further to the side so Ted could continue to kiss and lick at his neck.

“Now?” Ted asked. Not that he was objecting, he wanted it as badly as Cody did.

“ _Yesss_ ,” Cody hissed out, using his legs to pull himself upwards to rub against Ted even further.

“I don’t have… anything,” he admitted, embarrassed. If he even _had_ condoms still, they would probably be expired it had been so long since he needed them.

“Don’t care. I want you now.” Last he knew, he was clean, and he didn’t think he could spread any bird diseases, and from the way Ted was talking, it had been the Stone Age the last time he got laid. “Wanted you for a while now,” he added, grabbing hold of Ted’s arm to bring his hand to his mouth, beginning to suck on two fingers.

“If I had known you wanted me this much, I would have stuck my dick in your beak at lot sooner.”

Cody just nodded around the fingers, realizing just how crazy that sentence would have sounded to anyone else. But, really, he couldn’t agree more. When he felt they were ready, he moved his head, releasing Ted’s fingers, the man not hesitating to bring them down to Cody’s entrance, pushing one in slowly.

Unable to help the groan that escaped from his lips, Cody arched his hips up, trying to get that finger to go even deeper. “Keep going, _please_ ,” he moaned. As a bird, he remembered how good sex felt as a human, but now, after months of going without even an orgasm, he was feeling the touch of another person in a deliberately sexual manner and he was longing for more.

Ted slipped two fingers inside of Cody then, and all the sounds the young man was making had him wanting Cody more than he’d wanted anyone in his entire life. He didn’t think he could hold out much longer; he wanted inside Cody. But he had to wait until he had the go ahead first.

That came not seconds later when Cody was pleading with him, “Now, fuck me now.”

Ted couldn’t argue with an order like that. Slipping his fingers out, Ted readjusted his body and grabbed hold of his cock, lining it up with Cody’s entrance. When Cody let out a little whine, he pushed his hips forward and sank into the tight, hot resistance of Cody’s ass. _God_ , he didn’t know how he had gone so long without sex. Though this was already feeling better than anything he could remember.

Both Cody’s hands snaked up and began curling into Ted’s hair, pulling him into a kiss as Ted’s hips began to rock back and forth, slow, steady, shallow movements to begin with.

That wouldn’t last, if Cody had any say in the matter. His legs were still wrapped around Ted and he used that to his advantage, pulling the man in deeper. “I can’t wait for slow and steady,” he said, head falling back, eyes closing as pleasure continued to flood through his body.

Once again pressing kisses to Cody’s neck, Ted nodded, agreeing. He couldn’t keep up a slow pace, he knew that, not when Cody was right there below him, urging him on, so receptive to all his movements. And certainly not after having gone without for so long. So he began to move his hips faster, going in deeper with each thrust, fucking Cody just that much _harder_ with each thrust. 

His hands were in Cody’s hair now, and their mouths had found one another again as their tongues danced together in a deep, lust filled kiss.

The sounds of their bodies coming together over and over were filling the room, skin slapping skin as Ted worked his hips, downwards, Cody’s own moving upwards to match him thrust for thrust. 

Ted didn’t know how long they were joined together, but he felt as though it was an embarrassingly short time before he felt that coiling sensation in his lower belly. He broke off the kiss and said in a short breath, “I’m so close.”

Nodding, Cody returned, “Me, too. Keep going. Don’t even _think_ about pulling out.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Ted told him, just as he finally gave his body over to its urges, arching himself back and coming with a cry. His hips kept going, fucking Cody as he came. It was moments later when Cody was following suit, ass clenching around Ted’s cock as the man came inside him.

Silence descended around them, as now the only sounds were their own breaths, which had yet to return to a normal pace. “Ted,” Cody began, looking up at the blonde, “that was fantastic.”

“Just like riding a bike, I suppose,” he joked lightly as he reached down to slip his cock from Cody’s body. Now he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He just had sex with a man who used to be his pet bird, and the only other thing he knew about him was that his name was Cody. He didn’t even know his last name.

Cody could feel an awkward vibe starting up between them, and that was the last thing that he wanted. In his time as a bird, though he could get slightly annoyed by Ted’s little quirks and his odd impulse to buy toys for him every single day, he really had grown to like the guy and he didn’t want things getting even more awkward. “You could at least offer me some clothes,” he said, grinning.

“Yeah. Right, you’re right,” Ted said as he got up off the couch. “I’ll grab them, then I’ll call you that cab.”

That was when Cody stood up from the couch as well, stepping in front of Ted and wrapping his arms over his shoulders. “If you don’t mind, I’d really like to stay here. With you.”

“Really? But I…” he trailed off, looking downwards

“And I’ll never let you live that down,” Cody said. “But I really wouldn’t mind getting to know you a little better. As a person. Me as a person, that is.”

Ted could hardly believe it. After everything, Cody still wanted to be with him. “I’d like to get to know you better, too. As a person. Though I will miss Sinatra.”

“Get another one. You own about half the pet shop as it is.” Cody smirked as Ted blushed. “Just promise me one thing?” When Ted looked to him, he said, “Don’t try and feed the next one with your dick.”


End file.
